Do We Really Mean It?

"I’m running back to your promises one more time, Lord that’s all I can hold on to, I gotta say this has taken me by surprise, but nothing surprises you. Before a heartache can ever touch my life, it has to go through Your hands, and even though I keep asking why, I keep asking why,

No matter what, I’m gonna love You, no matter what I’m gonna need You, I know You can find a way to keep me from the pain but if not, I’ll trust You, no matter what, no matter what."

--Lyrics from "No Matter What" by Kerrie Roberts

So I had an interesting juxtaposition in the last 24 hours. On my way home from work last night, I heard the above song for the first time on KSBJ, the local Christian radio station here in Houston. (I've gotten to where I don't listen to the radio much anymore, so I'll admit that I'm probably late to the party on hearing it.) I must say that it bothered me a little, especially the lines in the chorus that state "No matter what, I'm gonna love You" and "I'll trust You, no matter what". Human love and trust are not unconditional, they're just not -- unfortunately not even towards our Creator. But I think I understand the sentiment the artist is trying to express with the song as a whole, and since I certainly don't know what difficult paths she might have walked in her life I'll refrain from being too critical. I just respectfully disagree with the choice of lyrics in a couple of parts of the song and wouldn't use them myself if I ever had the opportunity to write another song.

Fast-forward to this morning, the song long-forgotten. I'm reading through Hosea right now in my quiet times, now that I've finally started doing them consistently again. As a refresher for those who don't necessarily have total recall of the Minor Prophets (is there really such a thing as a minor prophet?), Hosea is the one that God told to go and marry a prostitute (named Gomer) and have children with her, as a living example of the unfaithfulness of Israel towards the Lord. Of course, there are lots of other examples in the Bible where God asks someone to do something really, really hard -- Abraham sacrificing Isaac, Jonah going to Ninevah, Ezekiel with many different activities to illustrate God's commands and words to the people, even the disciples leaving everything they've ever known to follow Jesus -- but Hosea ranks right up there with Joseph marrying a pregnant virgin for sheer humiliation factor in my opinion. (Note: Christ's suffering obviously trumps them all; I'm talking humiliation levels for the "rest of us".)

Let me explain. I think it's safe to say that most people don't like the idea of being made to look like a fool; but for a man, staying with a woman that appears to be actively sleeping around on you while you know about it and are seemingly incapable of stopping it is probably one of the most humiliating experiences they could endure. In today's secular society, this might end in divorce; back in Old Testament Jewish culture, it was grounds for stoning of the woman if the man so chose. For our sakes, thank God that He caused Joseph to be able to bear that humiliation with dignity and grace far beyond what any human is capable of and refrain from having Mary stoned. Indeed, Joseph adopted the resulting Child and raised Him as his own, thus fulfilling prophesy and helping enable the path of salvation for all; but that's another blog post.

As for Hosea, well, his humiliation was ordained to be perhaps more excruciating. Check out Hosea chapter 3, verses 1-3, NAS translation:

¹Then the LORD said to me, "Go again, love a woman who is loved by her husband, yet an adulteress, even as the LORD loves the sons of Israel, though they turn to other gods and love raisin cakes." ²So I bought her for myself for fifteen shekels of silver and a homer and a half of barley. ³Then I said to her, "You shall stay with me for many days. You shall not play the harlot, nor shall you have a man; so I will also be toward you."

Read it again. Who is the woman? Gomer, Hosea's wife. What is he told to do? Go get her and bring her back home. How does he end up having to do it? By purchasing her, purchasing her "services" as those of a prostitute. Because, well, she was. She had left her family -- a loving husband and three children -- and returned to her old line of work!

Do you think the people in the nearest village or town didn't know she had been a prostitute, and that she had returned to that line of work because she apparently wanted it worse than she wanted her life with her husband and children? Do you think they didn't know that not only did Hosea take her back, but that he went out searching for her, found her, and purchased her to bring her back home, seemingly of his own free will? I can only imagine the murmurings, crude remarks, smirks, etc. that were directed at Hosea either to his face or behind his back; after all, gossip and verbal cruelty towards each other wasn't invented yesterday.

For some reason, this passage hit me really hard this morning. Putting myself in Hosea's shoes (sorry -- sandals), I can't imagine what he must have been thinking as God told him to do this. Can you imagine going in to a brothel looking for your wife, who is working there by choice, and having to negotiate a price with her in order for her to leave with you to come back home? He would have been considered fully justified by the culture of the day if he had refused what he knew to be God's command and instead dragged her out to be stoned. Many Christians nowadays would likewise feel fully justified in serving her with divorce papers on the spot rather than submitting to God's command to keep marriage sacred (even though she wasn't) and work to try to save the relationship somehow.

But that's not what Hosea did. He obeyed his God when commanded to endure some of the worst possible humiliation, in order to illustrate to a stiff-necked people (God's term for them, not mine) how God felt when they turned to idols rather than Him. Could I do the same?

Contemplating this question is what brought the song I opened this post with back to mind. Can I honestly say I will love Him no matter what? Trust Him no matter what? I would like to think so, as I've been through some hard times in the past and ultimately came through them stronger -- but there were definitely some times in there where I felt very lonely and abandoned by God. But what if He told me to be a parent to a severely disabled (perhaps terminal) child? What if He told me to go childless, when I so strongly desire and look forward to someday being a father? Or what about going to what I know to be a certain death on the mission field in a country that is violently hostile to Christians -- or worse, leading my wife and possibly children into the same death trap? Or to bring it back around to Hosea, what if I was told by Him to swallow my pride and reconcile with a spouse that has been unfaithful in the past, is currently unfaithful, and will likely be unfaithful in the future? (Thankfully this last question is purely hypothetical for me!) Would I still trust that His plans are the best plans for my life, and that I should do what He says? If I did obey, would I do it out of love for Him, or out of grudging fear of what would happen if I didn't?

So my conclusion is that in my own flawed humanness I just can't say in all honesty that I will love and trust Him no matter what. Only through strength given by His Spirit is it possible for any of us in my opinion. Thus, I think I better pass on singing along with Ms. Roberts in order for my conscience to stay clear before my God: before I say "no matter what", I want to be sure I mean it -- and I can't be in and of myself.